When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

It’s easy to be inspired by the teachings and to think about how one’s life will be better for learning them, but it’s harder to apply them in real life. A person can think glowingly and tearfully about kindness and generosity, but then someone calls and asks for them to fill in for them that night and one says they’re too tired. A person’s boss walks over and yells at them and they’re overcome with resentment. They begin their meditation and promptly fall asleep.

In the struggle between ideals and reality, people are tempted to give up. This moment, though, is a “fruitful place” where one can feel the “raw and tender energy of the moment” (151). The sense of groundlessness is an opportunity to grow into an appreciation of “nowness.”

People imagine that the great Buddhist teachers were all flawless, but they, too, struggled almost daily with the same problems other people face. They had, though, the courage to face groundlessness and learn from it every day.

Three techniques can be used when life becomes difficult. The first is called “no more struggle” (156). With this method, one accepts whatever confronts them. Instead of resisting, one welcomes the unpleasant as if it were an honored guest.