The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World

Content Warning: The Chapter 3 Summary mentions anti-gay violence and antisemitism.

In Chapter 3, Zaki focuses on Tony McAleer, who was once deeply involved in hate groups. Zaki begins by recounting Tony’s story of brutally beating a gay man at a construction site alongside fellow White Aryan Resistance (WAR) members; WAR is a white supremacist and neo-Nazi group. During the attack, Tony notes “he felt nothing” (52). Like many other hate group members, Tony had a history of abuse. Hate groups provided him with “an outlet for his aggression” and an opportunity to “flex his intellect” (54) regarding his worldview. He grew more aggressive and hateful of people he viewed as outsiders. Zaki finds this type of behavior by hate group members extremely concerning, as “ignoring outsiders’ emotions makes it easier to oppress them” (56). Empathy in these instances is far out of reach.

Fatherhood and discussion with Dov Baron, a Jewish leadership trainer, helped Tony leave his hate groups. Dov helped Tony realize that people could accept him despite his past and present actions. For years, Tony hated Jewish people, viewing them as outsiders. Yet, it was a so-called outsider who offered him compassion, imploding his worldview of insiders and outsiders.