I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter is Erika L. Sánchez’s debut novel. Published in 2017, the book is a young adult coming-of-age story set in contemporary Chicago. It is told from the perspective of 15-year-old Julia Reyes as she navigates her grief and struggles with mental health, familial relationships, and cultural expectations after her older sister Olga’s unexpected death. The book has won several awards, including the Thomas Rivera Mexican American Children’s Book Award in 2018. It considers themes like Justified Lies and Secrets, Immigrant Identity and Fulfilling Cultural Expectations, and Breaking the Cycle of Poverty.

Plot Summary

Julia Reyes is the daughter of Mexican American immigrants whom she calls Amá and Apa. Her parents work thankless jobs to provide for their family. Julia’s 22-year-old sister Olga is proper, obedient, and quiet—the ideal Mexican daughter. Julia, however, is loud, opinionated, and independent—characteristics that garner judgment and criticism from her devout and traditional family. When Olga dies in a hit-and-run accident, grief further alienates Julia from her parents.

A few weeks after Olga’s funeral, Amá shocks Julia by informing her she wants to throw her a quinceañera, an elaborate party for Latina girls turning 15 that marks their transition to womanhood. Julia has no interest in having a party, especially because she is almost 16, but she knows Amá regrets not having one for Olga.

One night, Julia sneaks into Olga’s room and finds several hidden items: a love note, a hotel key, and racy lingerie. Julia turns to Olga’s best friend Angie, who doesn’t reveal Olga’s secrets and blames Julia for caring about her sister too late. Undeterred, Julia makes continuous inquiries at the hotel and Olga’s college that lead nowhere, but she remains suspicious.

As Julia continues to struggle with her grief, her only sources of solace are her best friend Lorena, English class with Mr. Ingman, and the idea of going away to college. She is an aspiring writer, and while she waits for her chance to leave Chicago and see the world, she escapes her mundane, oppressive life by reading and writing.

Julia reluctantly participates in her quinceañera to please her family, but she gets into an argument with one of her aunts. Amá reprimands her and angrily blames her for Olga’s death. Julia spends the summer helping Amá clean houses, and in the fall, she applies for colleges. She dates Connor, a wealthy white boy from the suburbs, and their relationship brings her joy, though their class disparity sometimes causes her anxiety.

Julia finally finds the key to Olga’s room and moves Olga’s secret belongings to her room to keep them from Amá. Amá finds them anyway, and Julia allows her to think they are hers. Amá grounds Julia, and Julia’s depression and isolation come to a head. She tries to commit suicide, but Apa breaks through her door and gets her to the hospital.

Julia follows a treatment plan of outpatient therapy, counseling, and medication. After she completes the program, Julia’s parents decide she should go to Mexico, thinking time with her grandmother and extended family will help her heal. Before she leaves, she finds the password to Olga’s computer and discovers old email exchanges between Olga and a married doctor from work.

In Mexico, Julia learns that Apa used to be an artist, and Amá was raped on their journey across the border, resulting in Olga’s birth. The cartel’s violence resurfaces in Los Ojos, and the family decides it is no longer safe for Julia. When she returns to Chicago, she and Amá mend their relationship, and Julia reconnects with Connor.

Eventually, Julia learns that Olga was pregnant when she died, and she confronts Olga’s boyfriend. He insists he loved Olga, but Julia has little sympathy for him. He gives her an ultrasound photo. That fall, Julia leaves for college in New York City, grateful for the opportunities that she has been given.