Breathing Underwater

Nick is the 16-year-old protagonist of the novel who is beaten and verbally abused by his father. When we meet him, Nick is an aggressive antihero who is bitter about his father’s abuse. He knows that his home life is not normal, but he does not reach out for help because he is afraid of being seen as weak or incapable of dealing with the abuse. Thus, he acknowledges that he wears a mask for everyone, pretending that everything is fine. His relationship with his father is based on violence and fear, and he eventually uses violence in his relationship with Caitlin as a response to his fear of her leaving him. When he is ordered by the judge to attend family violence sessions, he is at first resistant and cynical, and he refuses to see his behavior as problematic. Even when he admits to himself that what he did to Caitlin was wrong, he is not willing to change.

As he continues writing in his court-mandated journal, he relives the damage, both physical and emotional, that he caused to the important people in his life. He revisits the events that led to his violent actions, and this hindsight helps him see his own errors and the ways his father’s abuse influenced his behavior.